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O'Keeffe Skull Streak--Fanish JMTorres
Poison
Closet
Weirds
Me
Out
I. Inspired by Sorority Boys.
Okay, the other two guys in the Sorority Boys promo shot? You can so tell they're guys. But MR... MR's just workin' it. Especially if you trim & edit so it's just a picture of him. Herm? Couple of friends--friends who are fairly obsessed with Lex even and so should recognize him--thought he was a chick. (He makes a pretty girl, but if how Amber Benson was treated is any benchmark, he's lucky he IS guy enough to get away with that waist--a waist which of course I personally have no problem with.)

And I got to thinking. In part 'cause of Bas. But what if Lex was wandering around in that damn good convincing drag. And Clark saw him, and didn't immediately recognize him as Lex. He knows he knows the "girl," but he can't figure out from where and he goes to talk to "her." And of course Lex gets a big kick out of this.

I've got two versions of Lex's strategy floating in my head--one where Lex introduces himself as Laura, Lex's sister, and one where Lex just evades the query and laughs at Clark a lot. In the first version Clark asks if Lex has said anything about him, amusing Lex plenty. In the second version, they do a little dance around the whole "I'm sure I know you" thing, Lex repeatedly accusing Clark of using a line, which Clark is not but he can't prove it.

At any rate, both of the versions end something like this:

Lex lowers his voice an octave or two: Clark.
Clark: Wha--?
Lex slides wig off head. Clark gapes. Lex slides one hand into his shirt and pulls out half his stuffing, with this kind of wistful smile.
Clark: Lex?
Lex: Yeah. I, um, wasn't exactly planning on you seeing me like that, which is why I... lied.
Clark: Geez, Lex.
Lex: That was--probably more than you wanted to know about me.
Clark: No, no, it's fine, I er. I mean.
Lex finally cracks a grin: But man, were you ever flirting with me.
Clark: I was not.
Lex: Were so.
Clark: Wasn't even!
Lex: Uh-huh.
Clark: Nah-uh.
Lex: You were.

ad infinitum.

Eventually leading to the question, was Clark flirting because Lex makes a good chick, or because Clark sensed it was Lex? Fun either way.

Originally posted 29 Jan. 2002

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II. The Lady Lianna
Thoughts on femLex. From #smallville, edited.

I'm Jul. Just occurred to me I ought to specify that.

[Picking a name for Lex's fempersona--from last night, continued. Laura already taken on show (Lana's mom); Lola, Loretta, and Columbia all a smidge too obvious (teehee); deciding that Lex WOULD pick an L name to mock the Luthor thing; Elle? Larissa out, Lorelei the runner-up. Lianna wins from lesbianflick *G* with the stray thought that does femLex pick up chicks too? Possibly even only attracted to chicks when Lianna?]
[assorted ramblings on who all Lianna (Lex's fempersona) would fool--Clark, Lionel, Victoria.]
Jul: You know, it's going to get old if I keep having everyone have the same reaction to Lianna.
jc: what reaction?
Jul: ESPecially after we already know who s/he is.
Jul: ...basically, not recognizing Lex. We were discussing Lionel flirting with Lex, which of course Clark's already done.
Jul: >>Lianna
Jul: hmm. Maybe have Lionel show *before* Lex tells Clark.
jc: and lionel can be all where's lex, and lianna wants to see how long she can play him
jc: lionel can ask her rel to lex or something
litAlex: oh, man
jc: scene coudl work either us knowing or not knowing
jc: could be a good place to drop clues
jc: as lianna is very myseterious "yes, you could say lex & i are very close"
jc: or couldbe very very funny knowing what's going on & watching lianna play lionel
jc: or, clark & lianna could be together when lionel shows up
jc: clark coul dknow
jc: & could watch lianna play lionel
Jul: I was actually thinking of something closer to, it takes Lionel a minute, but then he goes, "Oh, it's *you.*" and then Lionel and Lianna have this ambiguous conversation in front of Clark, the gist of which that Clark gets is that Lionel disapproves, only Clark doesn't yet know that Lianna's Lex, so, he thinks Lionel just disapproves of HIM.
jc: Jul, ok that could be clever too
jc: tho, would lionel really not say lex in the convo?
jc: i can't imagine lionel being subtle like that
Jul: And then, at some point Clark jumps in to defend... something about "Lionel's daughter" and Lionel just looks at him...
jc: hee
jc: ok that would be funny
jc: see, this is what i'm talking about - plenty of room for sooo many authors/stories here
Jul: heh
Jul: might get to use the hussy line anyway.
Jul: Does Lionel know Clark? After Jitters?
jc: he must at least a little
jc: lionel could be entertained at the thought of mr kent's son hanging with lianna
jc is shocked
Jul: Lex might be more careful than Lionel. Like Lionel starts, "Lex--" and Lex interrupts, "Lex knows I'm seeing his friend." Which takes Lionel aback, but he goes, "Of COURSE he does."
jc: lol
jc: the humor potential there is huge
OwlRigh: hehe
jc: i dunno that lex & lionel would play on the same side tho
Jul: I'm sort of operating under the premises that a) Lionel is more concerned with *Lex* than with mere Clark, and it would probably cost money if anyone actually knew Lex was crossdressing, and b) *mutter* femLionel exists somewhere
jc: so lionel believes clark doesn't know, and doesnt want him to know, so he'll go thru with lianna
jc: 's deception?
jc: ok, maybe
Jul: either that or...
jc: i bet he'd throw clark out to have a word with lianna then
jc: like he did with victoria
Jul: Lionel figures Clark already knows because, you know, hello, Lex is on the couch/bed/floor with him making out, and he lets Lex have his Lianna persona as a kind of, I don't know, humoring him. But that relies on femLionel 'cause I can't seem him humoring this at all otherwise
jc: hm
Jul: mmm. I'm writing this from Clark's POV so it's not nearly as interesting if Lionel kicks Clark out. Unless--has he got superhearing yet?
jc: heh
jc: clark could overhear raised voices at strategic moments
Jul: he would be straining to hear
Jul: and he'd get superhearing!
jc: heh
OwlRigh: rrrrrrrr
jc: & after, he could say "wow lianna y'all were sure yelling" & she'd be like "huh? we were not"
jc: ok, so maybe lionel doesn't throw clark out
Jul: why the heck not?
jc: he doesn't see clark as a threat like he did victoria
jc: he doesn't work for his enemy corp
Jul: right... iinsignificant *G*
jc: nod
jc: maybe he just ignores clark
jc: just a silly farmboy
jc: depends also on what lionel is there to talk about
jc: i can see him being like "i just can't talk business with you like this"
Jul: it could be Victoria redux. "Well, I see you've gotten rid of her at any rate..."
jc: lol
Jul: "Geez, dad, all I wanted was her lipstick, anyway."
jc: heh
Jul: And Clark's all... "Ew! You have on VICTORIA's lipstick? EWWWWWW!"
jc: lol
Jul: To which I suppose the response is Lex wiping his hand across his mouth, saying, "No, I think it's all on you now."
jc: hee
Jul: And "I don't see what the big deal is. You pulled her naked, wet, body out of the bath tub."
Jul: "Yeah, but it's not like I gave her mouth-to-mouth!
jc: heh
jc: clark would be VERY uncomfortable to talk about that in front of liionel
---------------------
Jul: I'm thinking Lex makes Lianna younger than himself. In part to make Clark more comfortable with the idea of a date. How much younger do you think he thinks he could pull off?
jc: jul, actually, men in drag usually look older...
Jul: I wanna have a scene where Lex has given himself smaller boobs in an attempt to be more teenagerly, and Clark says, "Er... Not that I was staring at it or anything, but, uh, did you chest... shrink?" Lex: "Um. Different bra. They all do different things."
jc: lol
jc: oh jul, that is a riot
litAlex: victoria told to do drag so that she can actually turn Lex on
jc: hee
jc: victoria couldn't do drag to save her life
jc: so clark is supposed to be 16 right?
OwlRigh:
Jul: Well, he's supposed to be 16 I think, but he couldn't be expected to donate blood if he weren't 17.
Jul: Which doesn't necessarily mean anything...
litAlex: actually, that's what I was thinking, too
Jul: considering Chloe signed up
OwlRigh giggles at Jul
jc: i dunno, a very well doneup woman, and Lex never acts 21 even
jc: which is guess means lianna could be whatever age you want
jc: how's the chocolate?
OwlRigh: what kind of chocolate you get?
Jul: peanut M&M's
Jul: out of loyalty to Roswell
jc: so lianna is lex's younger sister to clark
jc: ?
jc: wouldn't he then like ask lex's permission?
Jul: yeah, maybe
jc: once he finds out that's who she is i mean
jc: you don't date your guyfriend's younger sister without some sort of something i think
Jul: I was figuring he'd be talking to Lex about Lianna anyway. "I met this girl... she seemed really familiar, but she wouldn't tell me who she was. Only that her name was Lianna."
OwlRigh: hee
jc: heh
Jul: And Lex feigns surprise and answers
OwlRigh: but... wouldn't Clark like, peek?
OwlRigh: and see certain appendages?
Jul: "Lianna? My sister, Lianna?"
Jul: RIGH. No, he would not.
OwlRigh: okay!
OwlRigh:
jc: righ, no bones in the penis
OwlRigh: jc: but ... he can peek through clothing, no?
OwlRigh: pervy!Clark
jc: have we seen that?
Jul: but sometimes he can see things thant don't make sense normally, like the writing on the medication
jc: we've seen him see skeletons
jc: ah true
OwlRigh: but ... if he can look through anything else...
jc: well, lianna is tucked very well, so clark couldn't peek
jc: clark will be all "i didn't know you had a sister" & "omg i didn't mean to oogle your sister"
Jul: anyway, Lex encourages Clark wildly at this point. "You know, she probably only wouldn't tell you who she was because she thought you were cute." "What do you mean?" "Well, when I reminded her the name Luthor isn't popular is Smallville, she SAID she didn't care what anyone thought of her..."
litAlex: this actually reminds me of an ancient chinese love story
jc: ?
jc: do tell, litAlex
OwlRigh looks at litAlex.
OwlRigh twiddles thumbs as she waits.
jc thinks litAlex is a tease
litAlex: anyway, chinese love story: girl dresses as boy to go to school. boy and girl becomes best friend. girl falls in love, hints to boy
litAlex: gets boy to promise to marry the non-existent younger sister of girl
litAlex: and girl goes home
litAlex: boy comes along to meet his best friend.
litAlex: realizes that there's no younger sister but only his best friend
OwlRigh: LOL
litAlex: wants to marry her, but can't, 'cause girl's parents promised her to someone else
jc: :(
litAlex: he wastes away and get someone to bury him along the bridal accession road
OwlRigh: just laughing at the going along with his mate part
OwlRigh: awww
OwlRigh: and then he comes back as a ghost and claims his bride?
litAlex: girl gets sent to groom's home and sees boy's grave
litAlex: she gets off, weeps and weeps
litAlex: grave opens, she jumps in
litAlex: they turn into butterflies together
litAlex: romeo and juliet for the chinese
OwlRigh: awwww
litAlex: 'cept it got cross-dressing and all
OwlRigh: hee
jc: r&j meets just one of the boys or somesuch
litAlex: yeah, sigh
litAlex: and it's one of seven doomed love stories
litAlex: re-incarnations
litAlex: they're doomed to have failed love for seven re-incarnations or something.
[assorted discussion of crossdressing and gender ambiguity in Revolutionary Girl Utena and Petshop of Horrors]
Jul: Anyway. full circle on the gender ambiguity thing.
Jul: Back to Lianna.
jc: hee
jc: yes
jc: cuz i gotta go to bed soon
jc: i'm thinking 18 is totally reasonable for a 16yo
jc: 19 is still a teenager
----------------------
Jul: Remember the bit I was going to do where Clark blushing asks Lex to dress up later?

[edit: let me see if I can recall how this went.
Clark: Lex... don't take this the wrong way, 'cause I like you as you, but, um, would Lianna like to go out to dinner?
Lex, with tilt of head: Do you want me to be someone else?
Clark: Um, no, I mean, I do like *you*--
Lex: Good, because Lianna's not really different from me.
Clark: She isn't?
Lex: No, I'm not.
Clark: Okay.
Lex: You could have just asked me to dinner and asked me to "dress up."
Clark: Dress--Lex, you are evil.]

jc: nod
jc: i like that bit
Jul: I want to have Lex ask, "You want me blonde or brunette?"
OwlRigh: going to bed?awww
jc: hee
Jul: Clark kinda looks at him. "Or I could do red. I don't really like to, though. But I could."
jc: lol
jc: i like
jc: oh, lex should offer blue or lavendar as well, just to startle clark
jc: i see him with like a room of wigs
Jul: *laugh*
jc: or at least a bigcloset
Jul: Hello again, Freud.
Jul: Okay, what should I do with Victoria?
jc: what do you mean?\
jc: she's n the fic too?
Jul: well, she ought to be, if she's still staying with Lex
jc: maybe she & lianna dress up together?
[editorial note: Victor/Victoria. So did not catch this when it was said. Would have smacked jc if had. *G*]
---------
Jul: Okay. So what thell am I doing with Victoria?
litAlex: threesome
jc: you don't like her & Lianna dressing up together>
OwlRigh: orgy
jc: ?
OwlRigh: with all of us
Jul: Alex, can I leave your name in when I post ... NO... my log to my lj?
OwlRigh: hehehe
OwlRigh: "authorial insertion"
jc: Righ, you, me, Jul, Victoria, an orgy?
litAlex: sure
jc: um
OwlRigh: :D
litAlex: lol, owl
OwlRigh walks around with a shiny halo.
litAlex: jul, that "sure" was to you... things get garbled in irc...
jc: maybe victoria is more into women
jc: and so she likes lianna better
Jul: you guys are NUTS
litAlex: owl: you really shouldn't wear a greasy halo
litAlex: it needs to be...cleansed
jc: maybe she's why lex starts xd'ing again
OwlRigh: LOL
OwlRigh grins at litAlex.
jc: he'd stopped when he moved to smallville
OwlRigh: Jul: of course we are! I'm a macadamia nut. Hard to crack, but when you do, the good stuff's inside!
litAlex: jc: I love your idea
jc: thanks!
jc: maybe victoria catches lianna & ends the sexual part with lex cuz of it, leaving him free to pursue clark
jc: if you want a less um, sympathetic victoria
Jul: hmmm. "You drive men to pretending they're women in order to avoid attracting you. You drive men into the arms of other men. You are the anti-sex. You are--evil! Evil I tell you!"
jc: lol
litAlex: lol
OwlRigh: *laughing*
litAlex: I think a sympathetic victoria would be more fun, though...
jc: yea me too
Jul: I meant that more as parody than as my real opinion of victoria.
jc: i really think she's someone who can be redeemed in fic, or at least, her potential can be tapped unlike in the show

end of session for now.

Originally posted 30 Jan. 2002

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III. Yet More Lianna: Lianna and the Kents
Jonathan: I didn't know you had a sister.
Lex: Well, I'm sure if you asked my father, he'd deny it entirely. He seems to think she was put on this Earth for the sole purpose of annoying him. He spent a lot of money keeping her out of jail and the tabloids--almost as much as he spent on me.
Jonathan: [hard look] Except that he doesn't pretend you don't exist.
Lex: Ah, well, I didn't commit the one, unforgiveable sin that my sister did.
Martha: [blanching] Oh?
Lex [bullshit alert]: When my sister turned eighteen this summer, and registerd to vote--she joined the Green Party.
Martha [relieved]: I see.
Lex: She's been more or less disowned.
Jonathan: But you're letting her visit?
Lex: Oh, yes. I don't hold with my father's harsh view of Lianna. How do you think I ended up exiled to Smallville?

Originally posted 31 Jan. 2002

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IV. Just about written [A year later: ha.]
Rough order for Lianna story. Nothing much new here--just sequencing

In the beginning...
Lex was wandering around in that damn good convincing drag. And Clark saw him, and didn't immediately recognize him as Lex. He knows he knows the "girl," but he can't figure out from where and he goes to talk to "her." And of course Lex gets a big kick out of this.


Lex's strategy--first a lot of evasion, then gives the name Lianna. They do a little dance around the whole "I'm sure I know you" thing, Lex repeatedly accusing Clark of using a line, which Clark is not but he can't prove it.

Lex commits to the deception
jc: so lianna is lex's younger sister to clark?
jc: wouldn't he then like ask lex's permission?
Jul: yeah, maybe
jc: once he finds out that's who she is i mean
jc: you don't date your guyfriend's younger sister without some sort of something i think
Jul: I was figuring he'd be talking to Lex about Lianna anyway. "I met this girl... she seemed really familiar, but she wouldn't tell me who she was. Only that her name was Lianna."
jc: clark will be all "i didn't know you had a sister" & "omg i didn't mean to oogle your sister"
Jul: And Lex feigns surprise and answers "You know, she probably only wouldn't tell you who she was because she thought you were cute." "What do you mean?" "Well, when I reminded her the name Luthor isn't popular is Smallville, she SAID she didn't care what anyone thought of her..."



Lex spreads the deception
Okay, I *know* Clark says that the white tulips in "Shimmer" were the last of the Kent's ...flowers? tulips? Anyway, I've decided Lex comes over to buy more Organic Flowers [TM]. Clarks asks, For Victoria? Lex replies, No, for my sister. Thought I'd get something to brighten up her room.

Jonathan: I didn't know you had a sister.
Lex: Well, I'm sure if you asked my father, he'd deny it entirely. He seems to think she was put on this Earth for the sole purpose of annoying him. He spent a lot of money keeping her out of jail and the tabloids--almost as much as he spent on me.
Jonathan: [hard look] Except that he doesn't pretend you don't exist.
Lex: Ah, well, I didn't commit the one, unforgiveable sin that my sister did.
Martha: [blanching] Oh?
Lex [bullshit alert]: When my sister turned eighteen this summer, and registered to vote--she joined the Green Party.
Martha [relieved]: I see.
Lex: When I told her about your farm, she got very excited. "Organic farming! And you buy their produce? Go, Lex! Stick it to Dad! Viva la resistance! Down with Luthorcorp!" You see how she managed to get herself disowned.
Jonathan: But you're letting her visit?
Lex: Oh, yes--we're very close. I wasn't leading the protest marches with her, but I agree with a lot of Lianna's politics. How do you think I ended up exiled to Smallville?

Anyway, later, sans parents, Lex casually mentions that he might not be there when Clark delivers the flowers, so Clark can give them directly to Lianna.
Clark: You're setting me up to give your sister flowers?
Lex: Well, you like her... she likes you... Unless you've decided you ARE going to fight the quarterback for Lana, I don't see the problem here.
Clark: She likes me? I mean, you talked to her and she said...?
Lex: She said, You know Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome? Can you set me up with him? And, good big brother that I am, I'm doing just that.
Clark: Well... but...
Lex: What?
Clark: Well, then you really shouldn't pay for the flowers.
Lex: [laughing] Is that all? I can afford it--
Clark: Yeah, but--
Lex: No gifts from a Luthor? I thought we were over that.
Clark: We are. I mean, unless you try to give me a truck again.
Lex: Alright, so let me pay for some very untrucklike flowers which you will not even be keeping, but giving to Lianna.
Clark: ...okay.



Early date. Stuffing?
Jul: I'm thinking Lex makes Lianna younger than himself. In part to make Clark more comfortable with the idea of a date. How much younger do you think he thinks he could pull off?
jc: jul, actually, men in drag usually look older...
Jul: I wanna have a scene where Lex has given himself smaller boobs in an attempt to be more teenagerly, and Clark says, "Er... Not that I was staring at it or anything, but, uh, did you chest... shrink?" Lex: "Um. Different bra. They all do different things."
[Clark opened his mouth to ask if this was anything like when Chloe, in seventh grade, had sprouted (slightly lumpy) breasts overnight. He then thought better of it and settled for grinning. "What?" Lianna asked, matching his grin. Clark thought fast. "So, um. Guess that one's tighter, huh? Harder to get off?" "You're already thinking about how to get my bra off?" "No! I mean--" Lianna laughed at him. "That's alright, I'm already thinking about how to get your pants off."]
jc: so clark is supposed to be 16 right?
Jul: Well, he's supposed to be 16 I think, but he couldn't be expected to donate blood if he weren't 17.
Jul: Which doesn't necessarily mean anything...
Jul: considering Chloe signed up
jc: i dunno, a very well doneup woman, and Lex never acts 21 even
jc: which is guess means lianna could be whatever age you want

Sometime in here, on this first date to like the Beanery or something, I want them to run into Chloe, & maybe Lana, and Lianna lives up to her name by flirting shamelessly with them, much to Clark's consternation.




Victoria--how they end up going shopping with her.
jc: you've read Bas' story where lex & his friends go shopping, right Jul? something like that, but in a very very expensive & classy place with Victoria & Lianna.
Jul: again with Clark's POV
Jul: have to have a care here
jc: so it's all clark pov?
jc: so they bring clark along to carry the bags
jc: & because they like to watch him squirm
Jul: I mean, Lex WOULD do somthing like that...
jc: & I think that if 2 women asked clark to come shopping with them to carry the bags, he'd do it
Random: Yeah
jc: he's mr courteous
Jul: never mind that Clark WOULD go carry two ladies' (I use the term loosely. In Victoria's case) bags around while they shop... how would Lianna justify asking him?
Jul: to herself if no one else
Jul: I mean, Lex does NOT treat Clark like a servant
jc: L thinks every teenage boy should have the experience of going shopping with 2 "ladies"
jc: or, maybe L& C are hanging out
jc: V says, let's go shopping
jc: and they invite C along so he won't feel left out
jc: they could get C some clothes too
jc: is v still after l & ignoring clark, or not even noticing he could be a threat?
Jul: all right. Clark comes over to pick Lianna up to go do something. Lunch, movie, something. Victoria's all, "Oh, it's Clark Kent, my heeeeeeroooo...." Clark: [BLUSH]
Jul: Lianna: Don't you have something else to be doing? Like, um, shopping?
Jul: Victoria: There's no where to shop in this little one-horse town.
Jul: Lianna: So go to Metropolis. I'm sure Lex won't mind if you take the car. Take your time. Stay the night.
jc: V could start with, where is Lex anyway?
jc: yea, she's pressuring Lianna
jc: like, i'll tell clark if you don't come with me
Jul: Alright, V goes along with 'Lianna' to fuck with Clark's head
Jul: Victoria: Oh, but I'm so rarely in Metropolis. You'd have to come WITH me! Clark could even come. He could carry our bags.
Jul: Lianna: How... fun.
jc: clark is totally awed that not one but *2* beautiful women are flirting with him
Jul: Victoria: Oh, come on. Clark, what do you think? Wouldn't you like to come watch us try on clothes?
Jul: Clark: [BLUSHBLUSH stammer]


Victoria--the extremely bad influence.
Jul: and I *SO* want them to talk him into getting something pierced.
jc: oh!
jc: can clark get pierced?
Jul: OOh, damn, you're right.
jc: special kryptonite needles?
Jul: they could TRY to convince him
Jul: Victoria's idea. Lianna's a little "Hands off!" at first but warms to the idea of a nice nipple ring or something.
jc: oh, V would have to talk penis piercing
Jul: Prince Albert?
jc: sure
jc: she could talk suggestively bout how good that looks on a big guy
jc: oh, and she could ask if he's circumsized
jc: which presumably he is not
jc: Lianna could make some comment about gag reflexes & PAs in the back of the throat
Jul: I'd like to have Clark come home marked in some way, so I'm wondering... they could move on to tattoos, and Lianna could suggest henna
jc: i dunno if henna would take very well even


Victoria--Will she expose Lianna to the harsh light of Clark's X-ray vision?
Jul: Does she avoid blowing Lianna's cover, or does she make one too many jokes?
Jul: Lianna: Do you think this skirt is too short? Victoria: Oh, no, flaunt your legs. They're gorgeous, you know. [feeling Lianna up] Do you even have to shave them? Lianna [gives Victoria a look]: Of course I have to shave them [He doesn't know I'm Lex, you idiot.]
jc: ooh, Victoria could try to get clark to crossdress
jc: "some men like it" [pointed look at Lianna]
jc: "gee, Lianna, why do you think some men like it? I've always wondered"
jc: rubs silky underthing on clark "just imagine how nice this would feel in more sensitive places"

jc: maybe clark is all annoyed, wishing the very attentive salesclerk would goaway
jc: so he can use the xray
Jul: see he WOULDN'T tho
Jul: even when he looked in the girl's locker room he didn't look under towels
jc: well, yea, he is mr nice boy
Jul: but, it's something for him to contemplate... "But... Victoria practically suggested I watch... but Lianna didn't like that idea... it would be wrong."
jc: poor clark
jc: this whole thing is just so overwhelming
Jul: Maybe his morals allow him to look at Victoria
jc: oh, cuz she asked him to practically?
Jul: heh yeah
jc: maybe victoria invites clark into the dressing room
jc: to help with zippers you know
Jul: "VicTORia!"
Jul: "What? I've got my hair caught in the damn thing..."
jc: i could hear either Lianna or Clark being appalled by that
Jul: "The hair on my HEAD! Really, Lianna."
jc: can't lianna help you, Victoria? it's the *women's* dressing room guys arent allowed in there! that would be wrong
Jul: and Victoria just laughs
Jul: and says partly to Clark, partly to Lianna, "I won't tell if you won't."
Jul: What if Clark accidently rips something?
jc: oh poor clark
jc: he would fall thru the floor
Jul: Oh. Oh my god. Not looking. Oh god, how much does that cost?
jc: zackly

[Aside; Decision: Lianna DOES have her own credit card]




Lionel
jc: clark & lianna could be together when lionel shows up
[Make-out session before Lionel walks in runs roughly: Kissing. Lianna breaks off and requests "No hands on the boobs. We don't know each other all that well, and I don't really know how far I'm ready to go with you yet. Um... put 'em here," and sets Clark's hands on her waist. Resume kissing. Lianna slides a hand under Clark's shirt and is playing with nipple. Clark: "That's not playing fair." Lianna: "You're right, I'm sorry. I'll stop." Clark: "No, no, that's okay... I mean..." Lianna kisses him again and knocks him back onto the couch. There is some slight bounceage and Clark spies a hint of kleenex sticking out of the bra. Yup, he thinks, like Chloe. He is amused.]
Jul: Does Lionel know Clark? After Jitters?
jc: he must at least a little
jc: lionel could be entertained at the thought of mr kent's son hanging with lianna
Jul: It takes Lionel a minute, but then he goes, "Oh, it's *you.*" and then Lionel and Lianna have this ambiguous conversation in front of Clark, the gist of which that Clark gets is that Lionel disapproves, only Clark doesn't yet know that Lianna's Lex, so, he thinks Lionel just disapproves of HIM.
Jul: might get to use the hussy line anyway. [When first comes in, Lionel asks what Clark's doing on the couch with--that--hussy! Then, after recognizing Lex, "Well. You dress up pretty." Lex: "You just called me a hussy!"]
Jul: And then, at some point Clark jumps in to defend... something about "Lionel's daughter" and Lionel just looks at him...
jc: tho, would lionel really not say lex in the convo?
jc: i can't imagine lionel being subtle like that
Jul: Lex might be more careful than Lionel. Like Lionel starts, "Lex--" and Lex interrupts, "Lex knows I'm seeing his friend." Which takes Lionel aback, but he goes, "Of COURSE he does."
jc: i dunno that lex & lionel would play on the same side tho
Jul: I'm sort of operating under the premises that a) Lionel is more concerned with *Lex* than with mere Clark, and it would probably cost money if anyone actually knew Lex was crossdressing, and b) *mutter* femLionel exists somewhere
jc: so lionel believes clark doesn't know, and doesnt want him to know, so he'll go thru with lianna's deception?
jc: ok, maybe
Jul: either that or...
Jul: Lionel figures Clark already knows because, you know, hello, Lex is on the couch/bed/floor with him making out, and he lets Lex have his Lianna persona as a kind of, I don't know, humoring him. But that relies on femLionel 'cause I can't seem him humoring this at all otherwise
jc: i bet he'd throw clark out to have a word with lianna then
jc: like he did with victoria
Jul: mmm. I'm writing this from Clark's POV so it's not nearly as interesting if Lionel kicks Clark out. Unless--has he got superhearing yet?
jc: heh
jc: clark could overhear raised voices at strategic moments
Jul: he would be straining to hear
Jul: and he'd get superhearing!
jc: & after, he could say "wow lianna y'all were sure yelling" & she'd vbe like "huh? we were not"

jc: ok, so maybe lionel doesn't throw clark out
jc: he doesn't see clark as a threat like he did victoria
jc: he doesn't work for his enemy corp
Jul: right... iinsignificant *G*
jc: nod
jc: maybe he just ignores clark
jc: just a silly farmboy
jc: depends also on what lionel is there to talk about
jc: i can see him being like "i just can't talk business with you like this"
Jul: it could be Victoria redux. "Well, I see you've gotten rid of her at any rate..."
Jul: "Geez, dad, all I wanted was her lipstick, anyway."
Jul: And Clark's all... "Ew! You have on VICTORIA's lipstick? EWWWWWW!"
Jul: To which I suppose the response is Lex wiping his hand across his mouth, saying, "No, I think it's all on you now."
Jul: And "I don't see what the big deal is. You pulled her naked, wet, body out of the bathtub."
Jul: "Yeah, but it's not like I gave her mouth-to-mouth! [Lionel would totally think that was a reference to Clark dragging (no pun intended) Lex/Lianna out of the river.]
jc: clark would be VERY uncomfortable to talk about that in front of lionel




Revelation
Lex lowers his voice an octave or two: Clark.
Clark: Wha--?
Lex slides wig off head. Clark gapes. Lex slides one hand into his shirt and pulls out half his stuffing, with this kind of wistful smile.
Clark: Lex?
Lex: Yeah. I, um, wasn't exactly planning on you seeing me like that, which is why I... lied.
Clark: Geez, Lex.
Lex: At first anyway. And then I was having a lot of fun with you, and--I should have stopped. Probably around when Victoria wanted to go shopping. You didn't deserve that.
Clark: No, no, I er. I mean. I had fun too.
Lex: Good. Good. ....So, you still want to go out with me?





post-revelation
Eventually leading to the question, was Clark flirting because Lex makes a good chick, or because Clark sensed it was Lex...?
Jul: Remember the bit I was going to do where Clark blushing asks Lex to dress up later?
[edit: let me see if I can recall how this went.
Clark: Lex... don't take this the wrong way, 'cause I like you as you, but, um, would Lianna like to go out to dinner?
Lex, with tilt of head: Do you want me to be someone else?
Clark: Um, no, I mean, I do like *you*--
Lex: Good, because Lianna's not really different from me.
Clark: She isn't?
Lex: No, I'm not.
Clark: Okay.
Lex: You could have just asked me to dinner and asked me to "dress up."
Clark: Dress--Lex, you are evil.]
Jul: I want to have Lex ask, "You want me blonde or brunette?"
Jul: Clark kinda looks at him. "Or I could do red. I don't really like to, though. But I could."
jc: oh, lex should offer blue or lavendar as well, just to startle clark
jc: i see him with like a room of wigs
jc: or at least a bigcloset
Jul: Hello again, Freud.

Originally posted 1 Feb. 2002

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V. Jocelyn
VotW, Liannafic--has an obsession with Clark (come, Clark deserves a stalker too) and this sort of chameleon power to blend into any family she chooses (which I'm calling the Dawn kryptonite mutation). Her real name is Jocelyn Roberts. Making her an eighth grader, left behind by her obsession when he went to high school. She joins Chloe's family as Iris, hoping to get closer to Clark. She becomes "Iris the Virus," and is treated by all of Chloe's peers as Chloe treats her--annoying little sister. Jocelyn moves in with Lana, becoming Lynne. As Lynne, she hopes to catch Clark's attention while he's mooning over Lana, but by this point, Clark has recognized the pattern of mysteriously appearing little sisters (mistakenly including Lianna in this trend) and is cold with "Lynne." So Jocelyn moves in with the Kents, as Candace. Where Clark then spends the entire time trying to keep his parents from mentioning his powers in front of Sis. I'm not sure how I'm going to integrate this part of the narrative into the Lianna part of the narrative, esp. without having Clark blow up in poor, innocent Lianna's face.

At any rate. This is the misdirection to keep people from noticing that Lianna's Lex in drag, as opposed to the little sister Lex doesn't have. Going to tie in the bra stuffing... I suppose Clark will eventually recognize that she's Jocelyn Roberts in part because of the "Lynne/Jocelyn" connection... I'm not sure what he does to get rid of her, but he gets her to go back to the Roberts family, and then... Lianna still exists. So, he knows Lianna really is Lex's sister... except... she's not!

Feel slightly weird about Jocelyn deciding to become Clark's sister, but not as much as I ought. Utena on the brain. Nanami crushing on older brother Touga; Kozue crushing on older brother Miki; Anthy apparently actually having sex with older brother Akio--but Anthy is a messed up little girl to begin with. So I've gotten into this weird state of mind where obsessing with your older brother is more or less normal...

Originally posted 3 Feb. 2002

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VI. Jocelyn ficsnip
Remember the Buffy eps from the end of the Glory arc? How frustrated Spike kept trying to tell them Ben and Glory were the same person, and it kept slipping out of their heads? I want to do something like that later, with Clark as Spike, maybe with his parents. But it generally happens to everyone.



"So I think Iris has a crush on you," Chloe announced.

"Iris?" Clark asked, trying to place the name.

"Yeah," Chloe answered, not explaining. "When I got home from the Torch last night, she was all, 'Was Clark there? Was he wearing red flannel? Is red his favorite color? Isn't he cute?'" Chloe paused to glance disdainfully at the saucer of artificial cream packets the waitress had set next to her coffee. "Excuse me, can I get some skim milk?"

"Sure," the waitress said, and gave Pete his mocha.

Clark murmured, "Thanks," as the waitress set his latte in front of him. She smiled before turning to take the order of the blonde girl sitting alone at the next table.

"So... who's Iris?" Pete asked.

"Cappuccino, please," Clark heard the blonde girl say softly.

Chloe was systematically dumping sugar into her coffee, and didn't even break the tear-tip-toss rhythm when she looked up to glare at him. "Duh. My sister, Iris. Who did you think I meant?"

Pete frowned and looked questioningly at Clark. Clark gave a helpless shrug, just as baffled. Pete said, "You never mentioned a sister."

"Like she needs any introduction," Chloe said. "This is Iris the Virus we're talking about, remember?"

"Where do you keep her, locked in the attic?" Clark joked.

"What, like in Jane Eyre?" Chloe asked. "I wish. No, she got the basement, the little brat."

"The basement?" Pete repeated doubtfully.

"Didn't I tell you guys about this?" Chloe asked. "When we finished furnishing the basement in November, Iris said she wanted it, when she knew I'd been wanting it all along. She said it I didn't need it since I was always at the Torch anyway. I told my parents about your Fortress of Solitude and Dad said, 'Sounds like a good place for a roll in the hay ha ha ha.' I hate it when he laughs at his own jokes. Mom said, 'Your father's right, you don't need that kind of privacy. You're not having sex.' So I got pissed off and said, 'How do you know?' and got myself grounded for a week. And Iris got the basement."

"Yeah," Clark said slowly. He remembered the story, because he remembered defending the nature of the barn to Chloe. She had teased him unmercifully for half an hour before asking, "Okay, I believe you. So you really are still a virgin, then?" There was no adequate response to this question, as she would tease him more no matter what his answer.

But Clark didn't remember Iris being in the story. In fact, he didn't remember Iris at all. He frowned and stirred his drink.

Clark looked up to catch the blonde at the next table watching him with an amused smile. At least, he thought she was looking at him--a moment later, her gaze flickered to somewhere over his shoulder, and then the waitress was back, leaning over Clark to set a small carafe of milk in front of Chloe. "Here you go," she said, and moved to the next table to give the blonde her cappuccino.

"So what shall I tell her?" Chloe asked Clark mischievously.

"What?" Clark asked.

"Is red your favorite color?" Chloe was carefully diluting her coffee. Add milk to the rim, sip; add milk to the rim, sip; add milk to the rim...

"Blue," Clark replied absently. He forced himself to focus on Chloe rather than the blonde behind her.

"Nothing but blue skies..." Pete started singing dramatically.

Chloe smacked him. "That was a perfectly good song before they made a commercial out of it and linked it to allergy medicine in the public psyche." She poured more milk into her mug.

Clark watched in bemusement. "Why don't you just order a latte?"

"Not enough milk in it." The coffee was a very light brown at this point, like caramel. Apparently having decided that it was now properly mixed, Chloe took a long draught and smiled brightly. "Oh, hey, got something for you to copy edit."

"What is it?" Clark asked as Chloe fished through her bag. Behind her, the blonde was standing and setting bills on the table.

"This girl from the junior high disappeared. Ran away, her parents think, and they're asking both the Torch and the Ledger to print this piece asking her to come back." Chloe pulled a print-out from her backpack triumphantly. "Jocelyn Roberts."

"I remember her," Pete commented. "She was always watching us play basketball after lunch."

"You remember the chick checking you out at recess, but you don't remember my sister?" Chloe asked indignantly.

"Hey, it wasn't me she was checking out!" Pete replied.

Clark snorted and looked over the page. He was good at copy editing because forcing himself to read at a pace that did not look suspiciously fast made him read very painstakingly and carefully. It basically said, We love our daughter, if you see her, send her home; Jocelyn, if you're reading this, we love you, please come home. With mention of her puppy, Fufu, missing her. Clark marked a couple of spelling changes and a comma, and handed the sheet back to Chloe.

"Hey. Whatcha working on?" The speaker was a skinny girl with blonde hair like Chloe's that fell across her face and obscured her features. She dropped her backpack and slid into the booth next to Chloe.

"Hey, Iris," Pete said warmly.

Clark looked at him in surprise, but didn't get the chance to question the recognition, as Chloe was answering, "Oh, it's a letter for the Torch from the missing girl's parents. You knew Jocelyn, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I had a few classes with her," Iris admitted. "But, can you print that? Didn't your principal say you couldn't print stuff that didn't have to do with the high school?"

"Oh, please," Chloe countered. "It's not like I'm implying she's a mutant."

"Why, do you think she is one?" Pete asked.

"Josie, a mutant? She only moved here last year," Iris replied derisively. "It's only people who were here since the meteor strike who turn--special."

"Knock on wood," Chloe said, and rapped the table. "Here's hoping you and me remain as unspecial as can be."

"Yeah, whatever," said Iris. "Will you get me a cappuccino?"

Clark stared, confused.

Originally posted 4 Feb. 2002

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VI. Go away, Lionel
Lionel: Oh. It's you.
Lianna: No, it's Liberace. Who'd you think it was?
Lionel: [clears throat, attempts to be vaguely civil] Well. You dress up--very pretty.
Lianna: Gee, thanks, Dad. Just what I always wanted to hear from my old man. I think I'll go be scarred for life now.
Lionel: No, really--you look--nice.
Lianna: Two minutes ago you called me a hussy!
Lionel: What do you want from me? Earrings for Christmas?
Lianna: No, I'm not pierced. Not my ears, anyway. [beat] If you wanted to by me a dress, I'm a size ten.
Lionel: I'll keep that in mind. [pause] I don't think you should be doing this in Smallville, though. It was bad enough in Metropolis--
Lianna: I don't think it's any of your business.
Lionel: Lex--
Lianna: Lex knows I'm seeing his friend.
Lionel: [blinks] Lex knows-- [laughs] But the young Mr. Kent doesn't, does he?
Clark: Know what?
Lianna: I--[can't figure out what to say, and Lionel cuts in]
Lionel: I think it's time for you, young lady, to say goodbye to Clark and leave Smallville. Permanently.
Lianna: Or what? You'll tell him my dirty little secret? You'll out me?
Lionel: Do you really think this country bumpkin could handle your lifestyle?
Lianna: Do you really think I would have let things get this far if I didn't mean to tell him? Or are you calling me a cocktease as well as a hussy?
Lionel: No, just a coward, to be hiding behind this--pretense in the first place.
Lianna: What, so now I'm manipulating him, seducing him with my womanly wiles? [hands on waist, leans forward and does a brief jiggle--mostly in the hips/ass]
Lionel: As if you have any.
[I think at this point Clark thinks they're saying Lianna is bi/les, and Lionel is saying Lianna's too butch. Or something. Like, he's floundering in the sexuality, 'cause he's SEEN Lianna come on to Chloe and/or Lana, but clinging to her gender. Or maybe he's starting to Get it by now, I don't know.]
Lianna: I pass, don't I?
Lionel: Maybe you fool this naive farmboy, but--
Lianna: But what, Dad? Don't stop there, I'm curious now. Who couldn't I fool?
Lionel: Me.
Lianna: Ah, now we get to the truth. It's all about you. Isn't everything?
Lionel: What are you implying?
Lianna: I don't do what you want me to do, I'm not who you want me to be, so I'm exiled. Get out of town, don't come back.
Lionel: Would you rather he learn to hate you?
Lianna: Like father, like son?
Lionel: [goes pale and tight-lipped] Yes. See if you can't learn from my mistakes.
Lianna: [wheels are turning] ...shit.



Worked on that for about two and a half hours. Lionel just didn't want to confess. I'm still not sure I've got that in any way I like it.

Don't know where to go from here.

Originally posted 12 Feb. 2002

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VII. Making out. Post-Jocelyn plot res, pre-Lionel.
Late in the Lianna story. The Jocelyn-VotW-Dawn syndrome plotline resolved--her hypnosis only works on humans. So Clark and Fufu knew it was her. So, as Jocelyn is reunited with her family in the Kent kitchen ["Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Roberts? I found Jocelyn. Would you like to come by and pick her up?" *PLEASE?*], Clark gets a call from Lianna, and he's talking to her and looking at Jocelyn, and all his doubts about Lianna's identity are finally laid to rest. So then he runs over to see her. Pick up here:



"You got here fast." Lianna sounded pleased.

"Yeah, I ran," Clark said. "Things are kind of crazy at home just now." Lianna tilted her head at him with a quizzical smile. He looked at her closely, carefully. He noted that she didn't have the bangs Jocelyn hid her face with as if she wasn't sure her freaky hypnosis would actually fool people. Lianna didn't really resemble Jocelyn at all, Clark realized.

Clark was, he also realized, grinning like an idiot. He found himself reaching to run a finger along the curve of Lianna's lip, which was nothing like Jocelyn's. She let him touch, and smiled even more broadly. She caught his hand, asking, "What?"

Clark replied bashfully, "You're beautiful."

"Thanks. So are you," Lianna answered. She squeezed his hand and stepped closer.

"Beautiful's not generally a word you'd use for a guy," Clark protested.

In reply, Lianna lifted their hands to his face and brushed his cheek with her thumb. "In this case, Clark, it's entirely deserved."

Another step, and Lianna had drawn near enough to kiss. So Clark bent, tilting his head, conscious of their noses, and kissed her--a careful collision of lips that felt so clumsy that he immediately withdrew, embarrassed. "No," Lianna said, and loosed his hand. She reached up and slid her fingers into his hair to pull him back down. "Like this," she said, and her mouth was open and wet against his.

Clark didn't quite know what he was supposed to do, but he let Lianna guide him. When she pulled his hand to her waist, he held her. When her tongue pressed into his mouth, he pressed back. "Mmm," Lianna said to him.

"What?" Clark asked, pulling back.

Lianna asked, teasingly, "Have you ever kissed before?"

"Yes!" Clark said indignantly. Lianna laughed at him, but not unkindly, more in pleasure, and put her arms around his neck. "Alright, so not a lot."

"You're young yet; you've got time to learn," Lianna answered.

"Am I--bad?" Clark asked.

Lianna shook her head and pulled him down for another kiss. "Not at all," she assured him.

Encouraged, Clark kissed her enthusiastically. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the floor. Lianna broke the kiss to turn her head and laugh into his shoulder. "What's gotten into you today?" she asked. "The catty witch is away, so the mice shall play?"

"Lianna!" Clark said reprovingly. Victoria wasn't his favorite person either, but that was no reason to call her names.

"I was just looking forward to going out with you yesterday, and she had to butt in," Lianna complained.

"It wasn't that bad," Clark said. "I got a nice suit out of it."

Lianna brightened. "That's right, you did. You know what that means?" She kissed him again, open-mouthed but brief.

"What?" Clark asked, and kissed her back.

"It means--" kiss, "--that I--" kiss, and Lianna didn't seem to want to stop kissing him long enough to tell him, "--am going to--" kiss, and Clark didn't really mind how long the kiss was taking, "--take you--" kiss, and the words Lianna had just uttered made this one more thrilling than the previous, more playful ones, "--somewhere nice and--" kiss, and Clark did not want to stop, and Lianna pulled away just long enough to finish, "show you off!" before they were kissing again.



Meant for this to be the rewrite of the Lionel conversation, but somehow I just couldn't write that far. [Okay Clark, you really have to try for under the shirt now. "No, mistress. I'm too nice." Clark! Having fun making out, kissy-face, you're a horny teenager, go for it! "No."] So, more later I guess.

Originally posted 15 Feb. 2002


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